Science of prediction

A dozen bleeding obvious signs for your future understanding:

1. The scariest of times, ides of March are over. You can return to the last part of your nightmare.
2. On April 1st, the bull market is going to be in a twist - like the Greek letter tau. Rushing now will be futile.
3. While cat's eye in plural are like twins, actually its a gem. Inimitable may I add. Wear it for luck.
4. If you are in a foul mood, feeling of crabbiness will spread like cancer. Even on days like July 4th.
5. Lions are kings. They are august creatures, like the characters in Cleopatra. Respect and fear them.
6. A voyage to Virgin Islands now is a wrong step; what with the fog, river currents from east to west.
7. Balance your everyday meal. 1 Brazilian tea concoction in between will do you good.
8. You will reel in a novel experience. A scorpion sting for example, twice.
9. Decay of the old road and its arch. Errant heavy vehicles will further sag it. Tar I use for repaving will not be enough.
10. Have a go at cruising in the island of Capri. Corneal feast at night from the ship deck.
11. Your new job will be a water bearer. In the Janitor room you'll tend to the aquariums without a spare minute.
12. February 14th could fetch you a goldfish.  Reflect for a sec sipping in the beauty around.

Signs, symbols and spans. If you figured out what all this is about, good on you :)