Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Fly in the ointment

... and other such irritations

This post is an outgrowth of watching my wife and her woebegone tale of misery over the past one month or so. Having gone through a gamut of emotions from sympathy, concern, hilarity, annoyance, vexation and helplessness corresponding to her various ailments throughout this period, I finally decided that there is enough material worth chronicling here.

When I sit back now and think about where,when and how this phase had started, the only thing that comes to my mind is her gym. She had switched gyms and signed up for 3 month aerobics at a new place. After the first session about a month ago, she is yet to attend her second. What started as a minor stomach upset quickly manifested into a viral fever that de-oxidized all her exercise plans for the next two weeks.

Just when she was raring to go back, the tooth fairy curse hit her. We surely didn't find any money under our pillows when her wisdom tooth was extracted. On the contrary some of our own flew into the doc's pocket. She was petrified at the thought of having it pulled out and decided to brave the pain for a few days until it became inevitable. The doc didn't do much to allay her fears by announcing that two teeth need removal to correct the problem. When it was finally over, it was hard to tell who was the most relieved - me, my wife or the doc.

That was about a week ago and she is still complaining of the excavation site sending reminders up her jaw, ear, eye, neck and head. And did I mention that she recently started wearing contact lens ? Sorry for the abrupt change of subject, but you'll see where it fits into the narration. In my opinion my wife and the word 'dexterity' don't go in the same sentence. I have enough testimonials to prove this though she denies it and calls it a case of the pot calling the kettle black etc. So you can imagine my skepticism when she desired to use lens and my doubts were confirmed when she announced yesterday that she couldn't see her lens (sorry couldn't resist that).

I was made to search the car for the missing offender although I just can't imagine it falling out of the eye and the wearer unaware of it. The next morning she did another search - this time on google to find out if this is a common enough phenomenon. I personally didn't think how the lens could've undergone osmosis and entered her body, but kept this wise idea to myself. She though is convinced it has happened and is unsure if the pain in her eye is because of this or the tooth extraction.

Another google search (again hers) this time for post tooth extraction problems made her conclude she is showing all the symptoms for an ailment called alveolar osteitis. I suggested that probably pronouncing it a couple of times will cure her of it which earned me the label of being an insensitive wart.

What was that again Murphy said ? about things going wrong ...

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